Like many of you…over the past few weeks I have been rotating through the emotions of ANGER, SORROW, GRIEF, HELPLESSNESS, slight JOY when I see us working together, and then FURSTRATION when I see us tearing one another apart.
Say their names…
#GeorgeFloyd #BreonnaTaylor #AhmaudArbery
Per usual, every month we’re being triggered via social media by another senseless death, whether it’s unnecessary racial profiling, police brutality, or just plain old hate.
Because you know…155 years later, we still don’t belong here.
I don’t know about you, but I’ve been TIRED. I’ve been TRIGGERED. And honestly, there’s only so much I’m willing to bare…because I just can’t. Going back to March, when quarantine officially went into effect…I notice there were videos circulating on social media of another one of our Brothers being slain #AhmaudArbery. I let a week go by before allowing myself to watch the video. Not because I didn’t care, but again I AM TIRED! I refuse to normalize watching my Brothers and Sisters being slain by the white man or to police brutality. I just refuse to constantly be in fear, or paranoid for my Brothers and Sisters. Do you know it drives my anxiety when my boyfriend tells me he’s going for a walk…it shouldn’t be this way, but it’s the reality we live in. We literally have to be careful over simply trying to exercise or get fresh air.
Anyway, after watching the video of #AhmaudArbery I instantly fell into tears. It’s not fair, it’s not right, and it hurts. I didn’t get the opportunity to #runforAhmaud, but I donated $26 in honor of his 26th Birthday (S/O to you Keeks for inspiring this initiative)
A few weeks later, I’ve learned of #BreonnaTaylor, a sister that was slain in her sleep by the Louisville Metro Police department. (Read more on her story here.) My heart bleeds for her and the many other Black Women who have lost their innocent lives due to racial profiling and/or police brutality.
Then there was #SeanReed
Then there was #GeorgeFloyd slain by Minneapolis Police Department. Again I waited days before watching the video, and since I have, I’ve been disheartened, disturbed, sad, uncomfortable, disdained, troubled, hurt, and embarrassed by the carelessness of our country…
Again, Say Their Names….
#GeorgeFloyd #BreonnaTaylor #AhmaudArbery #TamirRice #TrayvonMartin #MikeBrown #SeanReed #SandraBland #KennyWatkins #PhilandoCastile #EricGarner
And the list goes on…
Our country is in uproar, and we ought to make noise. We ought to be a part of demanding both justice and change. We ought to get up and protest, we ought to hold our companies accountable #pulluporshutup, we ought to be selective with our black dollars.
I’ve been unemployed, but I’ve donated more over the past few months than I ever have with a salaried job, because you know what I’m TIRED, and I refuse to be a bystander during this time of change.
But you know what else…
I need rest. I need to allow myself grace just as allow myself rage. Like my brothers and sisters that have lost their lives, while I’m here…I deserve to BREATHE.
Between the exposure on social media of the many other slain Black-African Americans across the US…both past cases that didn’t receive national recognition and the present distasteful videos of police overusing their force at protest. My mental has been overloaded. My emotions have been all over the place.
Again, I’ve been rotating through the emotions of ANGER, SORROW, FRUSTRATION, GRIEF, HELPLESSNESS…you name it.
But I’m learning to take a rest.
I’m learning it’s okay to put the phone down and log off of social media.
I woke up this morning and decided:
Today I choose to reset, and not be bound by the troubles happening around me.
Today I chose self-care.
Today I chose to detach from social media.
Today I went out and got my first pedicure since Quarantine enforcement. (#PraiseHim)
Today I chose to sign every unsigned petition in support of receiving Justice for the many Black African Americans across the US.
Today I chose to educate myself.
Today, June 5, 2020, I chose to donate $27 in remembrance of #BreonnaTaylor
Today I chose to make a strategic commitment to limiting my exposure to triggering content, but also stay up to date on current matters. (No social media from sunrise to 3pm)
Today I chose to RESET, and not be bound by my emotions. Today I chose to re-channel my negative energy by tapping into my personal passions: writing, uplifting, giving, and educating.
Today I chose to walk in my purpose, use my voice, and start with what I have in front of me.
Join me in taking action:
Petitions to sign
Links to Supporting justice for #BreonnaTaylor
If you know of my petitions to sign or you’d like to bring awareness to any other social injustices in the US, drop the links below, and I’ll be sure to share!
“Turning Negatives Into Positives, One Blog at a Time…”- Passionate Woman