Tis the season to be jolly!
With the holidays coming up I’d like to bring awareness to the Holiday Blues, aka depression. If you don’t know, Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It’s a time when all of my family comes together, we crowd around in the kitchen and take instructions from my mom on how to make xyz dish. My mom shares her memories with my Big Mama [grandmother], and we get to lick the bowl after pouring out the cake batter. [Don’t act like you never licked the bowl] It’s an exciting time for me. But somehow the same reason I’m excited about the holidays, Thanksgiving in particular, is the same reason I sometimes dread the holidays. Everyone will be together!!
I don’t know about y’all, but my family is dysfunctional and at this point in life there is no shame to it. But as the old meme said “Ain’t nobody got time for that”.
Despite our reoccurring family issue, I love my family. I love the holidays! So for the past few weeks I’ve been reaffirming to myself, “Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I will not let anyone ruin that…”
So with the holidays coming around the corner, and many family gatherings, I’d like to share with you all a few tips to avoid the holiday blues!
PROTECT YOUR PEACE
This will be my number one and most important tip! If I’ve learned anything within the past few years, I’ve learned to protect my own peace. I’ve learned to recognize the things that trigger me, and one of those things is to be questioned by people who don’t know me. Being a family member doesn’t mean you [clap] know [clap] me [clap]. [And yess I had to add the claps] I understand that people want to get to know you, but what many don’t understand is that it’s a privilege to get to know someone. I know this may sound boojie, but lets be honest, how many people really care to know how you’re doing and how many are just looking for something to talk about, or for better words find a way to compare you to the next person. [I’m venting now…that’s not what this post is about lol] But protecting your peace is also avoiding toxic environments. We don’t like to talk about family dramas because it usually just creates more drama, however, if protecting your peace means staying at a hotel instead of big mamas house then do it. If protecting your peace means doing a thirty-minute stop to mama’s house then spending the rest of the holiday with your significant other, then protect your peace. I struggle with anxiety; I never recognized what it was until actually feeling physically sick being around certain people. I’ve learned to stay away from toxic environments, and toxic conversations. So I encourage you to PROTECT YOUR PEACE by all means this holiday season.
COVET NOT, FEAR NOT, FOR YOU ARE NOT ALONE
I remember during the ages of 15-20 years old, I would get really sad around the holidays. I grew up in a single family home, which meant mama did everything, and all that she could. When my older sisters got married [I’m the youngest of four], and started their own families, I would get sad if I found out they were not coming into town for the holidays. When they were around with their families, I would get really excited because they gave me hope. Hope of what a family looks like, and the possibilities of what a family could look like for me. When they weren’t around I would get depressed and think to myself, I’ll never know what its like to have a family. I would get lonely, and tell myself that I would be forever alone. My mom and I would visit her friends, and we’d spend time with their families, and it was always a great time, but when it was time to back home I would be sad all over again. I don’t know your story, or your situation, whether it’s from growing up in a single home, being the only single person in your family, or the only person without kids. If your cousin just got in engaged, but you’re still struggling to get a first date, don’t worry! COVET NOT – What god has for you is for you. FEAR NOT – Trust in God’s timing, purpose, and unique plan for you. YOU ARE NOT ALONE – The holidays are a time of joy and cheer. If you don’t have a family of your own, or you’ve loss a family member, be the blessing you want to receive.Choose to be a friend to the friendless, go volunteer at a shelter, and/or simply give to someone in need. Spend your holiday with a best friend, or a roommate. Don’t let the holiday blues get the best of you!
STAY IN YOUR FINANCIAL LANE
Let me restate it, STAY IN YOUR FINANCIAL LANE. One thing I don’t do is keep up with the Kardashians, or anyone at that. When the holidays arrive, it’s so much pressure to shop, to give, to take advantage of the latest black Friday deals, alla that [all of that]. Let me be your humble and sweetest reminder: you can live without it. Ask yourself these 10 questions: 1. Can I afford this? 2. Have all of my bills been paid? 3. If I have to make a sacrifice, is the opportunity cost worth it? 4. Will I have food to eat next week? 5. Do I have to borrow to get this? 6. Is this truly necessary? 7. Do we even talk like that? 8. Do I even want this (or to do this), or am I trying to prove something? 9. Is it worth the debt? 10. If I didn’t read about this deal, would I even consider buying this? If you answer NO to more than two of these questions, let me tell you, it’s not worth it. If you don’t have it, you don’t have it. Don’t put yourself into debt to be the super cool auntie, the favorite granddaughter, to get on your in-laws good side, to prove that life’s good even though your bills are currently behind. Don’t be afraid to have that talk early on with your family, friends, significant other, etc that honey, right now times are tough, so we have to work with what we’ve got. I really wanted to get some extension in my hair and have a cute bob for Thanksgiving, but truth is money is tight, I could just afford to come home for the holidays. Its okay to tell yourself no. STAY IN YOUR FINANCIAL LANE.
Those are my 3 tips on how to avoid “Holiday Blues” for this holiday season. If you have any more to share, please leave them in the comments below. Share this blog in a tweet, over Facebook, with your best friend.
Passionate Woman CS
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“Turning Negatives Into Positives, One Blog at a Time…”- Passionate Woman