Scrolling through instagram one day, I saw someone had in their bio “Self-Love Advocate”, I thought it was silly until now. I very so often find myself “preaching” the self-love sermon. Telling someone to love themselves first is such a common statement that is often undermined. I think people hear the words self-love and confuse it with just the outside appearance aspect of loving yourself. But it’s more than the external looks, its internal, personal-able, relational, its facing your true self esteem, and understanding your true value, and adding a hefty tax to it.
I recently had a conversation with a friend about treating herself. It could’ve been about getting her nails done, hair done, eating out, professional development, etc. I can’t remember, but these are the usuals coming from me.
After hearing the many excuses and reflecting on the many conversations (with both male and female) I’ve had in regards to self love, I felt a bit fed up.
So many times I’ve seen seen in both male in female (this includes myself), where we’d make so many excuses not to do something for ourselves. The excuse varies from time, money, energy, etc. But let Mister/Misses “Right” or sometimes Mister/Misses “Wrong” show up, we’ll give our all to someone else just not to feel alone. Sometimes it may not be a companionship of the opposite sex, sometimes its with friends as well. Sometimes we get so caught up with seeking to fit in or be in with the crowd that we forget to be Y-O-U, ourselves.
We forget to love ourselves first. We don’t understand that how you love yourself is mirrored in your outside relationships with others.
I’ve shared this many times before, “You can preach a better sermon with your life than with your words…” I say this to share that I made the decision to love self first. I made the decision to make sure that Courtney was okay before giving so much of myself to others and not have anything left for me. I made the decision to treat myself. Not only to shopping, eating out, but to investing money into educational resources, professional growth, and spiritual empowerment.
One of my favorite things to do for myself, besides eating out is buying myself flowers. I just love flowers, its something that has grown on me the past few years. If you’ve read my blog Expiration Date, you’ll find how flowers help me get over. Each time I walk past my flowers I feel ignited with positivity and hope. Since choosing to love myself first, I’ve experienced an overflow of love from others, my decision to love myself first began to be mirrored in relationships from family, friends, co-workers, and most comforting with my boyfriend.
So recently I purchased myself some flowers, and two days later without a reason I had flowers brought to me. In this moment I felt an awe and I had an aha moment realizing I had to buy myself an additional flower vase. In this moment I understood that when you love your self first, you make room for others to love you too. When you respect yourself first, you set the bar for others to respect you too. So today I challenge you to invest in Flowers for YOU, and watch how loving yourself can be reflected in your many relationships.
Flowers may not be your thing, but just how the blooming of Flowers bring me hope, there is something for you that brings you hope. It can be an inspirational book, it can be gym membership, it can be a business idea that you can put into action, it can be a promise ring that you get to remind your self of the greatness of self love. Whatever your flowers may be, choose to invest in loving you first.
“Turning Negatives Into Positives, One Blog at a Time…” – Passionate Woman
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