Expired XX/XX/16

How many times have you heard or been told “Don’t sweat the small stuff”. Cliché I know, but really you can’t sweat the small stuff, and what may seem as a big deal, well you just can’t let it control you.
Often time’s life hits us with unexpected road blocks, but as you know, it is how you respond that makes or breaks you. This past year I have experienced many disappointments, quite a few setbacks, and a few heart breaks. What I’ve learned after the storm is that where one door closes a greater one opens. However, sometimes we end up weathering a storm longer than we should due to holding on to our sorrows too long.
Remember:
He that angers you controls you, and sometimes that person we are most angry with is ourselves. Angry because we’ve held on too long or angry because we just can’t understand why an opportunity didn’t work out for us.  [God Blocked It]
Maybe you’re holding on too long to a relationship-friendship, or a personal failure. Whatever it is you must move on. You must put an expiration date on your sorrows or problems, and realize that you have the power to control your sanity-happiness.
I am now 23, but at the age of 21 I came up with this theory that in order for me to remain happy and sane, I have to constantly set an expiration date for any negativity that may come in my life.

This means putting an expiration date on Self-Pity. Putting an expiration date on Toxic Relationships. Putting an expiration date on Laziness. Putting an expiration date on Bitterness.

And  wholly giving my problems to GOD.

Because reality is, there will be roadblocks in our lives, but we must be determined to overcome them and not let them overtake us.

Psalms 55:22 Cast your burden upon the LORD, and he shall sustain you: he shall never permit the righteous to be moved.

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This past year I have had the Vice President of Human Resources at my job invite me out for lunch. Normally if we did lunch it was the whole team, but she took me out alone to have a one on one. She then expressed to me how impressed she was with my work ethics within the company in such short time. Because I was getting closer to my graduation date, she expressed to me how she was so happy for me, and we discussed setting a meeting for me to get a promotion within the company. I had only been working for three months, but as the normal senior, I was filled with joy. I felt like all the struggling of college was finally paying off…
That following week before going in to take a final exam, I got a call stating that

I had been fired.

Yesss, I said fired. I was devastated, I was broken,  I was hurt… More than anything I was angry, because the department knew that I was out of the office to take my final exams. All I could think was, did they not care at all how this news would affect my emotional state? I guess not. Oh and to make it worse, I wasn’t even contacted by the HR department nor my supervisor. When speaking to the company liaison, I asked for an explanation, and the response I received was “poor performance”. 
Whaaaatttttt? I felt bamboozled…betrayed, and every other negative emotion you could think of. It was then I had to put my money where my mouth is and put an expiration date to my sorrows.
During this time I learned that I had to put an expiration date to Self-Pity and Bitterness. I was taken to such a low place. But I had to determine not to let it over take me. I questioned myself daily wondering what I could have done wrong. I even reached out to my supervisor and never got a response. This made me bitter, but again I had to remind myself to put an expiration date to all my negative emotions and trust that God was in control.
When you set an expiration date on you problems, you allow yourself the chance to realize that yess this too shall past. You allow yourself to realistically get over a situation. You allow yourself to grieve, but you also take the time to encourage yourself in the midst of the storm. If you want to get even more ahead, you then take this time to praise your way through the storm, and allow God to shift things to work in your favor. You speak life, you speak truth, and you let go of the old.

Isaiah 43:18-19 Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of the old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; ow it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.

Sometimes to help myself get through an expiration date, I purchase myself flowers, and in doing so I tell myself that by the time these flowers die, so will my negativity. Once my flowers are dead, so is this situation. Because I know that once I let it go and give it to God, I will be free. Free to move on and free to receive greater blessings. Once I get rid of the dead things in my life, I allow new life and new blessings to bloom.

So whatever your road block may be, whatever the negative emotion it is that you are facing today, I challenge you to put an expiration date on it, and move forward with your life!

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bgatoxzicaee6x8

“Turning Negatives Into Positives…One blog at a time…”

Confessions of a “Born Leader”

Confessions of a “Born Leader”

Leadership Chose Me

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What exactly is a “born leader”?  If you ask me, a born leader is a leader pushed forward without training, either on free will or promotion by someone who simply believed that he/she has the potential for leadership. This has been my entire life. *Raps* “I didn’t choose the leadership role, the leadership role chose me.” Lol. Sometimes I appreciate it, other times I feel like I have to step up or no one else will.

 

I Don’t Always Enjoy the Spotlight

Sometimes I don’t care to have the spotlight. Sometimes I want to sit back and blend in like everyone else. In fact, just a few weeks before re-launching my blog site I began to reconsider and cancel simply because I knew the spotlight that could possibly come from it.

 

I Am Imperfect Too

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Often times when placed in leadership, whether by choice or assignment, people expect you to be perfect. Either they are quick to hold you to certain standard, or they are ready to criticize you as the greatest hypocrite of all time. So let’s get this clear, I do not think that I am perfect, “all of that”, or even better than anyone else. I do not have all of the answers, and I wouldn’t dare pretend too. I was not a straight A student, and I have experienced job rejection; I too have failed at life plenty of times. And yes I have a drink (or 3) when I’m ready, and yes I love Jesus…but we’ll talk about that later.

“I’m Not Friendly”

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El Oh EL. I think it might just be a Broward or Lauderdale thing to say “I’m not friendly”. Naturally I am a social butterfly. I love to talk, and I do enjoy meeting new people. [Your network is your net worth…] However, sometimes I don’t want to be friendly, and more importantly, I do not believe that it should be forced. I have to tell my mom and sister this all the time. Often times when placed in leadership or simply being an achiever at just about anything, your friends-family like to show you off and find people for you to meet. Then you are expected to smile and be the social butterfly, and if not you come off stuck up…when really you’re just not in the mood or don’t care to be disingenuous.

 

I Want to be Led Too…

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Again, being a leader doesn’t mean that you have all the answers. “Born Leaders” are just natural problem solvers, but sometimes the leader wants to be led too. Don’t you hate when your friends come to you for advice on things that you have no expertise in? Just because you’re good at one thing they expect you to be a pro at everything. [No Bueno.] Additionally, when it comes to dating, a natural born leader, regardless of gender, leaders love to be led as well.

[BTW Take the Lead is my favorite dance movie]

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I Am Genuinely a Giver.

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I genuinely enjoy giving, I enjoy helping others, and I don’t care to be recognized for it, but appreciation does warm the heart. Often times as a leader, people don’t understand your passion so they confuse your genuine nature to care as being a suck up or they believe you have hidden agendas. It’s okay, I am not an actor in Scandal.

 

I’m a Team Player

I am all for being a team player! Most leaders are known to be great team players, if not humility will teach them. However, often times when working with a team, it seems the person with the natural born abilities to lead, [sometimes the one with the title], often gets pushed to do all of the work, when the standard of having a team or a collaboration is for everyone to work together. Let me be the one to share this with you all…me no gusta, I do not like green eggs and ham, nope, please stop this people! [LOL] If you ask me, it is because of this very reason that some leaders developed the “I am my own team” syndrome. It’s just bitterness of knowing that regardless the number within the group that you’ll end up doing 75% of the work.

 

 

 

——If you can relate to any of my confessions or you have more Confessions of a “Born Leader” feel free to share below.

 

Turning Point

TURNING POINT

In April of 2015, I wrote a blog entitled “Own Your Image (Brand) or Recreate It”, not realizing that it would minster to my life a year later…once again.

Just a few months ago I decided it was time to recreate my image, recreate my brand. I decided it was time for something new. I decided I wanted to invest in myself more. I decided that I was done hiding beneath the mask of uncertainty and insecurities. I decided I was ready to be me again. I decided it was time to put on my TURNING SIGNAL.

For those that know me well or better yet have ridden in the car with me, you will know that I have a problem with forgetting to turn off my TURNING SIGNAL. I remember the first time a few of my pledge brothers [Hey BG] rode in my car for the first time and they made fun of me the whole night in groupme talking about how I could not drive, simply because I would never turn off my TURNING SIGNAL… But now I am at a place in life where I am ready to take pride in leaving on that TURNING SIGNAL.

After experiencing rejection from peers, school, Corporate America, my man crush Monday, and even myself, I caught this nasty illness called insecurities. This nasty cold called self-pity. To sum up my issue, I was knocked down for being confident, I became a victim to the crab in the bucket mentality, and I couldn’t discern my friends from my enemies. I became broken. I even reached out for criticism, but it was better heard behind my back. I was afraid to be myself because it seemed to be offensive to be confident in your-self. Somehow being sure of myself made others feel uncomfortable. It became offensive to speak up and speak out when I felt like something was wrong or things needed changing. There is a saying that society tells women to love themselves but tells the confident woman to calm down. In my best Maya Angelou impression, “Does my sassiness offend you, why are you beset with gloom? Cause I walk like I got oil wells pumping in my living room…”

Have you ever notice that the most confident and courageous people are the first ones to take their own lives? That was me at a point in time, BUT GOD-

In result of being criticized so often, I became bitter and my bitterness led me to either be silent one day and petty the next. I began to get out of character, I was hurting, my pride was tried, and I was acting out hurt. When I spoke truth, when I stood for what’s right, I was ignored, or silence. To society, it was better to go with the flow…I tried to align, and I lost myself doing so…

Romans 12 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

 

But after many weeping nights and pep talks in the mirror, I found myself…reaching back out to God. I never really forgot who God was, and still is today. But after experiencing so much hurt I thought to myself, if God really loved me why did he allow me to face the rejection I did…

Now I know, that every time I thought I was being Rejected from something, I was actually being Re-Directed to something better. God allowed me to reach my TURNING POINT, because there were times that I was headed on the wrong path. All he needed was for me to TURN to him. He allowed me to hit my road blocks and overcome them knowing that I wouldn’t be afraid to share my story and share my experience to uplift someone else.   So today I ask that you join me on this journey as I pursue happiness, pursue Christ, pursue my purpose by seeking God first, and TURNING every negative of my life into a positive message to share.

Today I dare you, I CHALLENGE YOU, to make that TURNING POINT, and choose to seek after God. Whatever path it is that you are on today, consult God for change, for vision, and for purpose. It’s a decision that if you take serious, you won’t regret!

thu2


“Turning Negatives into Positives…”

OWN YOUR IMAGE (BRAND) OR RE-CREATE IT!

Just a few days ago, I was scrolling through one of the many groupme (Group Messenger App) chats that I’m a part of, and I passed a message stating “…I always attract hood chicks (sad face emoji)”. Now this statement was made after a video was shared about how a guy is always attracted to classy women but only attracts the “unattractive women” or “hoodrat like women”.

Thinking deeper to myself, I thought, what image or message could you be giving off to only attract hoodrats? Are you giving off the image of a King, of royalty, of class, as an “alpha male”, or are you just living life cause bad b*%#h@$ is the only thing that you like? I’m not judging, nor making assumptions of negative character, but simply questioning the mind and intentions of personal image.

Again, thinking to myself, what IMAGE may I be giving off? Probably a confusing one. Some days I sing praises, and others I’m vibin’ to my trap music. Some days I’m quiet and observant, and others I’m the life of the party. This past weekend, my mom came to town, and she noticed I had a box with a few bottles inside. Boyy, she flipped, LOL! It was quite entertaining; she was like “Not the Christian!” All I could do was laugh because in my head it was just a bottle that truthfully I hadn’t even had a sip of [yet],and then the second bottle I’ve had for three months and can’t say I’ve had a full cup…but Ma Dukes was not trying to hear that LOL.

As a matter of fact, NO ONE cares to hear your explanation for life decisions or perceived images, so you have to be responsible and own up to every action you make, regardless of how it may be perceived. I have grown to live by the statement DARE TO BE YOU! If you have to hide something, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it. If you have to shelter the REAL YOU, then maybe you need new friends or a new environment. I can’t say that I’ve ever tried to fit in, but I can admit to dimming my light to avoid the criticism of others [which honestly isn’t any better].

Your Soul Is Rooting For You

This past Sunday, the Pastor spoke on the topic “What are you doing to reflect God’s Image?” He spoke on being slow to anger, having forgiveness, walking in faith, etc. More importantly he made the comment that as a believer “…What you participate in and what you don’t participate in reflects the image of God”. As a proud believer of Jesus Christ it is often brought to my attention that I should uphold a certain image. In most cases this image is perceived to be “boring” or “without personality”. But that’s all up to the politics of religion vs. relationship or the never changings laws of the bible vs. evolution of the new generation. Personally I’m all about having a relationship with God, and striving for my personal purpose and goals.

My point is you have to recognize and be aware of the IMAGE (messages) that you may be sending off to others, whether it may be your co-workers, professors, friends, etc. Ask yourself…Does my image represent and/or align up with my life goals and purpose? If your answer is no, then put an expiration date on any bad habits or imagery that you may be portraying. You are the creator of you self-image (personal brand)!

My challenge for you today: Own Your IMAGE (Brand) or Re-Create It!

-Originally posted April 25th, 2015

“Turning negatives into positives one blog post at a time…”-Passionate Woman