At the age of 23 I have gained the wisdom of understanding the company I keep, I have understood that you are the sum of the closest five people you spend the most time with [Jim Rohn]. I have gained the dissatisfaction for the “YES Friend” and gained great appreciation for the “NO Friend”.
So what is exactly is a “YES Friend” one may ask? A “YES Friend” is just what it says. The friend that says “YES” to all of your foolishness. The “YES Friend” is the friend that you call when you know you are planning to do something that deep down you know you should not be doing. Like skipping out on your responsibilities to turn up. Sleeping with that guy/girl that you both know ain’t no good, or even worse already has a man/woman. Your “YES Friend” agrees to all of your opinions without considering their own.
Proverbs 14:7 Leave the presence of a fool, Or you will not discern words of knowledge.
A “YES Friend” gets offended by something you’ve done, but when you ask “what’s wrong?” their reply is “nothing”. A “YES Friend” will encourage you to get drunk and do silly things then record you doing it. [No Bueno!] A “YES Friend” will know your boyfriend/girlfriend is cheating on you and either not tell you, or worse not encourage you to value yourself more. A “YES Friend” is a friend that tells you that your makeup looks okay, but when its time to upload pictures at the end of the night, your makeup is not even blended.
Why would someone want to be a “YES Friend”?
- The most important reason of all – They are not your friend. That simple.
- He/She is not living right themselves. – Sometimes when people know they are not living right themselves, just as misery loves company, so does darkness. Whether they are keeping it on the low or exposing it, when people are not living right [or simply not reaching towards their full potential], they feel more comfortable in their mess when surrounded by others to doing the same.
- He/She does not know what it is to be a friend. – Its crazy, you’ll learn some people have never had a true friend to show them how to be a real friend. So all they know is to have and be a “YES Friend”. [At some point we all have to grow up though.]
- Some people just like to mind their own business. – Sometimes a “YES Friend” is the person who just does not have the time to entertain the drama. This friend knows that regardless of what he/she says to you, that you’ll do what you want either way, so they let you just be foolish. Ultimately this friend does not have time to baby you or deal with your issues as well as their own.
Proverbs 13:20 He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.
What are qualities of a “No Friend”?
- A Friend that is Blunt – This is a friend that has no problem hurting your feelings. I mean the one who tells it as it is, because you know the truth hurts. [Don’t confuse this with a shady friend though, that’s totally different.]
- A Realist [This is me] – This friend understands the reality of life. He/She understands we are human and we make mistakes. The realist doesn’t care to judge you, but will tell you the consequences with hopes that you will choose the better route. [If you abuse this friend too much he/she will become that “Yes Friend” that just likes to mind their own business.]
- No Tolerance – This is the friend that tells you…”…I told you not to call me when he/she hurts your feelings again. I warned you.” This friend may come off as Superwoman Strong or Superman Strong, but reality is, he/she simply wants the best from you, and will not tolerate anything less
So where do you go from here?
Recognize the difference between your “YES Friends” and your “NO Friends”. Seek to find the true intentions and foundations of your relationships. Address any issues that you may have, whether it is dishonesty or tone when discussing sensitive matters. If you have significant “YES Friends” maybe it is time to consider how much time you spend with these people. Maybe you should set an expiration date to these friendships. If you have a sincere “No Friend” take the time to appreciate them, and understand their intentions as a true friend and not a “Debbie Downer”. Recognize that your Network is your Net-worth, and that you are the company that you keep. Lastly, be what you want to attract! Don’t seek for a Five Star Friend, when you have nothing to offer. Iron Sharpens Iron People, but first we must start with the man in the mirror, that’s self.
“Turning Negatives Into Positives…One Blog at a Time” – Passionate Woman